My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
did i just pee glitter
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
