So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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