found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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