...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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