i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
