I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
