I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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