my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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