Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
my liver is dry heaving
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
