I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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