I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
