This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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