Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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