Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
MIDGETS
????
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
