I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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