If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Randomize
