he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
