So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Houston, we have a blender
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
