; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
