Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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