i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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