Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
