After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
"it" just moved
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
