im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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