Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
