So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
