he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
