You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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