how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize