You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
