i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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