Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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