Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
