i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
