Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
