like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
