What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
