is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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