I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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