We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
