he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
