Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm at about main and main street
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
