why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
