): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
