It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
there is glitter all over my balls
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
