Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
