if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
