I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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