How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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