do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
