I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
