I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
