plz talk dirty to me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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